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“Can you handle the place for me?”

  Right now I can handle anything you want.

  She allowed a little smile to emerge. “You’ll miss the mud run?”

  “No way. I’ll be back for it.” Luke laughed. “Jase and I are set to show some of these young sprogs how it’s done.”

  Shannon wasn’t surprised Luke had signed up.

  “Is there anything I should know? Or do?” If money is an issue…

  Shannon had convinced Luke to incorporate their opening into the day planned for the mud run. “I could cut back on the catering for our opening day, do more of it ourselves—”

  Luke sat forward and snagged her hand. “Don’t you dare.”

  The touch of his thumb rubbing across her knuckles returned the fuzzy sensations she’d been having since last night.

  “You do too much around here already.” He looked deeply into her eyes as he drew her hand up to his mouth and pressed his lips into her palm.

  As every nerve in her body began tingling, Luke’s faint smile told her how aware he was of his influence over her. Shannon’s tongue darted out to slither across her dried lips. The breath caught in her throat as his lips traveled to the inside of her wrist.

  He urged her closer. His voice thickened. “Come with me.”

  As she leaned toward him her brain clamored with her response. Yes, yes.

  She knew what he was asking and she was ready. More than ready. A soft groan escaped.

  Sanity resurfaced just before their lips met. “I can’t, Luke,” she murmured between kisses. “There’s too much to do here.”

  “Forget here.” His arms tightened. “I want you with me.”

  Shannon’s shoulders slumped. I want that, too. She squeezed her eyes closed and cupped his cheek. “I can’t.” She leaned her forehead against his. “Not right now.”

  When he opened his mouth to argue Shannon placed her fingers across his lips. “There’s Thomas and—”

  He tugged her fingers aside. “We could ask Marcia—”

  Shannon shook her head. “No we couldn’t. Not like this, not without warning, and not overnight.” She looked into his eyes. Perhaps I’m misunderstanding him. “You were suggesting overnight, weren’t you?”

  “Of course I’m suggesting overnight.” His gaze dropped, his fingers following to caress her breasts. His voice thickened again. “For as many overnights as we can manage.”

  Sane and in control of a wayward body heating more with his every touch, Shannon drew away hoping her disappointment showed as she shook her head again.

  The swear words escaping his lips left her in no doubt as to his frustration, but he didn’t push any more.

  Shannon slumped, regretting the need one of them had to be sensible. Why?

  “I guess you’d have got bored, anyway.”

  Her eyebrows jerked up. Bored? It could have been the most fulfilling time of my life. She smiled, hugging that certainty to her. Another time, another day, it’ll happen when the timing is better.

  Luke had continued speaking. “I’ll probably have to spend a fair bit of time at the casino until I raise a stake.”

  What? Shannon’s mind slowed, unable to grasp the meaning of what was coming out of his mouth. “A stake? The casino? I don’t understand.”

  “I thought you heard?” Luke stood. “Emma’s worrying about my finances again.” He grinned over his shoulder. “She does this periodically.”

  Shannon’s lips tightened. Her words escaped slowly, very slowly. “And how do you usually respond?”

  Luke faced her. With his back to the window she couldn’t clearly distinguish his expression but she sensed his confusion. “I go and win some more.”

  “At a casino?”

  “Yeah, that’s right. What’s the problem with that?”

  Thank God I didn’t give myself away. Didn’t tell him how much I loved him.

  “Your money comes from casinos?” The strength in her accusation stuck in her throat and came out wispy. “From gambling?”

  Luke shrugged. “I’ve made some lucrative investments with my winnings over the years, more than enough to live on, but this project has depleted my stash a little.”

  “Your stash?” Anchored in first gear, Shannon’s brain refused to speed up.

  Even in shadow she distinguished a frown gathering on Luke’s face. “There’s nothing to worry about. Once I’ve got a stake I’ll head to Melbourne, they have a tournament early next month. I’ll be home straight afterward.”

  Shannon’s mouth dried even more. Her heart had leapt into her throat. “A tournament?” she squeaked.

  “Yeah, on the poker circuit.”

  Shannon stumbled backward, hitting the desk again, her body shaking as the icy cold sneaked into her very core. “You’re a gambler.”

  Her hands clasped against her chest. She wanted to run. She wanted to escape and hide somewhere. But most of all she wanted to disbelieve what Luke was telling her.

  Her feet were glued to the floor. She couldn’t move. It was true. As her hopes and dreams crumbled around her, Shannon was forced to acknowledge the horror. She’d lost her heart to another gambler.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Shannon’s voice rose as she accused, “You’re a gambler.”

  Luke frowned, taking a step toward her but stopping when her arms warded him off. What’s the matter with her?

  “No, I’m not. I’m not a gambler.”

  Her confusion registered on her face.

  “I may gamble, Shannon. But I’m not a gambler.”

  “What’s the difference? There’s no difference.” Her tone was fast approaching hysterical.

  Luke’s mind raced to figure out what was happening. “Shannon?” He held out a wary hand. “What’s wrong? I don’t understand.”

  “You’re a gambler,” she repeated. Brushing aside his hand and swinging around, her voice choked. “I can’t believe you’re a gambler, too.”

  Comprehension dawned. That bastard. Luke wanted to hit something—the desk, the wall, Eric Turner’s lousy face.

  Opening his mouth, he stopped. Lambasting Shannon’s dead husband wasn’t likely to gain him any credit. He jumped faster than a striking cobra. He wasn’t letting her duck out on this conversation. Not until he convinced her he was nothing like her waster of a husband. He grabbed her arm before she reached the door.

  “Shannon, sit down.”

  She resisted his gentle tug toward a chair.

  “We have to talk about this.”

  The accusation in her teary eyes stabbed him more painfully than any blade.

  “There’s nothing to talk about.”

  His arm around her shoulder forced her into the chair and he knelt beside her. “I’m sorry, Shannon. I didn’t know.”

  His chest ached as she refused to look at him. “Know what?”

  “That Eric was a gambler.”

  She flinched away from the fingers he ran across her cheek.

  “I promise you, Shannon. I’m nothing like Eric.”

  “You don’t know. You—”

  “I know he didn’t provide for you and Thomas. I know he never took advice from anyone. I know he was an egotistical idiot. I just didn’t know he was a gambler.”

  Luke’s chest contracted. He struggled to breath. I have to get through to her. His fingers clenched the chair arm. She’s pulling away from me, I can feel it. She’s ignoring what’s between us.

  He shook a beginning-to-ache head. That’s not going to happen. I won’t let it.

  “Shannon, I swear to you, I’m not a gambler.” How can I make her listen? He wanted to touch her, but the way she cowered from him suggested that wouldn’t help his cause. He had to rely only on words.

  “I’m not hooked on gambling. That’s the difference, Shannon. I gamble occasionally, but it’s not in control of my life. I do enjoy playing poker; I even get excited when I’m winning, but I never play for the thrill of it. I never think I’m going to win millions of dollars.�
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  His words continued to trip over each other as they fell from his mouth. “I don’t have a sure-fire system that always wins, or believe I can’t lose. I always, always, have a set limit of what I’m willing to spend and I never go past that limit. Not ever. I always walk away, without any regrets, if I’m not lucky.”

  Luke hoped Shannon understood at least some of what he said. She appeared to be listening. He risked running his hand up and down her arm.

  “I’ve walked away from a poker table far more times than I’ve ever stayed. Gambling is only a problem when it controls the person, Shannon.”

  “Gambling is an illness. It takes over lives—”

  “I would never allow poker to impact on my life, or the people I care about. It’s been a means to an end for me.”

  He took a deep breath. “I haven’t advertised where my money comes from, but that’s because it’s nobody’s business. Not because I’m embarrassed or ashamed. I’ve never borrowed money or owed anyone. Gambling has allowed me to live the life I want. That’s all.”

  Irritably he flung an escaping dread back over his shoulder before continuing. “Over the years I’ve taken my winnings and, with Emma’s advice, made some shrewd investments. I’ve been living off those investments for years, Shannon. Not off gambling winnings. It’s just that this year I’ve spent more than I had in reserve. I don’t want to start selling my portfolio without first seeing if I can build up that reserve again.”

  A gentle finger under her chin turned her so he could look into her eyes. “I agree with you, sweetheart. Gambling can be a disease. It can take over people’s lives and destroy them. Destroy those they’re supposed to love and protect, too.” Am I getting through?

  He hurried on. “It’s been twenty years since I first sat down at the poker table. If I haven’t become addicted after twenty years, I think you can—”

  “How would I know that?”

  “You’ve been here for months. The closest casino is in Dunedin. You know I haven’t been slipping off to Dunedin—”

  “You could be playing on-line.”

  Luke rested back on his haunches. She’s listening, thank God. Thinking about what I’m saying. “Valid comment,” he agreed. “But I don’t see the fun in doing that. I enjoy the social interaction, watching the faces of other players, trying to read them. That’s where the excitement is for me. On-line gambling is about the money, and winning or losing. At the table it’s about the game.”

  Luke took a huge breath. It will mean selling a heap of stock, but if that’s what it takes…

  “If my going will cause you worry, I’ll stay here. I’ll ring Emma and tell her to start selling assets. It’ll mean—”

  An incredulous look widened Shannon’s eyes as her mouth dropped open. “You’d do that?”

  “Of course.” He leaned closer, running a finger across her cheek. “I’d do anything for you, Shannon. If my having an occasional game of poker worries you, then I’ll stop playing.”

  “I don’t have the right to expect that, Luke.”

  “Yes you do. I’m giving you that right.”

  Shannon’s gaze flitted around the room, settling on his face for a split second before dashing off to examine the walls, the desk, the view outside the window. Her mouth opened and closed but no words dropped out.

  Luke rolled a chair close beside Shannon and settled down to wait. He tried to stay still. He kept his hands to himself although they ached to touch her. He allowed her time, but he wasn’t good at waiting.

  He tugged at his dreads. He pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes shut. He massaged his temples. Did I say enough? Is she convinced I don’t have a gambling addiction?

  The silence was interminable. He was close enough to hear Shannon’s breathing, to hear little sob-like sounds periodically escaping.

  I can’t just sit here. His shoulders and neck ached from the enforced immobility. His left leg began to bounce. But he daren’t shift. He daren’t speak. I have to sit here…and hope I haven’t blown it.

  His stomach eddied. He found a loose thread down the edge of the armchair and fidgeted with that. He didn’t want to wait. He was a doer, not a waiter. It wasn’t in his nature to wait for anything.

  But Shannon is worth changing that. If I give her space…

  “Eric gambled with everything.” Shannon’s low voice filled with loathing. “He couldn’t let anything go by without taking a bet on its outcome. Horses, dogs, sports matches. Hell, he’d even bet on the weather if anyone was silly enough to join him.”

  She paused for long moments but Luke daren’t stir or utter a sound.

  “I guess that’s h-how he d-died, in the end.” She caught her bottom lip between her teeth as the wobble in her speech became pronounced.

  Luke touched her arm but didn’t prolong the contact. I have to follow her lead.

  Agitated words leapt from her mouth. “My God! I suppose that actually is how he died. He probably bet the storm approaching the mountain that day wouldn’t dare impact on his climb.”

  She jumped up and ran across to the window. “Damn him.” She thumped the window sill. “How could he do that to us, to Thomas?”

  Empowered to say something, Luke couldn’t formulate adequate words. “I’m sorry,” was the best he could manage.

  Her glance appeared grateful before she paced across the office a couple of times.

  “He was a selfish, egotistical bastard,” she snapped out the open window. “Nothing mattered. Nothing. Not me, not Thomas, nothing.”

  She swung around. “It took me years to realize that. Years while I supported his trips away, keeping the home fires burning. Economizing, managing on my own with Thomas. Ha! Fat lot he cared.”

  Luke wanted to kiss the lips that had now almost disappeared.

  “He had sponsors, lucrative sponsorship deals.”

  Luke rolled his shoulders in an effort to ease the stiffness creeping up his neck and along his jaw. His teeth ached. He almost wished Eric was still alive just so he could have the pleasure of punching him.

  “I assumed he earned plenty of money to support his lifestyle.”

  Shannon shot a hard glance his way.

  Luke stiffened. “Don’t compare me with Eric, Shannon. I’m not him.”

  She bit her lip. “But you’re so alike. Johnny warned me when I took this job.”

  What the hell has Johnny got to do with this?

  “He warned me you were similar to Eric, never working a day in your life.” Shannon’s head shot up and she glared at him. “You haven’t worked at any regular job, have you?”

  Luke’s fists clenched as his verve slipped further away. “Shannon—”

  “You haven’t, have you?”

  Self-reproach for not fitting into what Shannon appeared to believe a necessary niche for a man drove Luke to respond belligerently. “So…I don’t work a regular job. A lot of people don’t work regular—”

  “Have you ever worked?”

  Stiffness shot from Luke’s neck and jaw down his shoulders and across his chest. He held himself rigid as he stared back at the love of his life. What the hell do I do now? What can I say to diffuse this?

  Luke blew out a noisy breath and flicked his dreads over his shoulders. To hell with this.

  His gaze locked with hers, he took a couple of measured steps toward her and placed his hands on Shannon’s shoulders. His hold tightened when she tried to shrug his touch aside.

  “Listen to me, Shannon.” His hands held her still even as she wriggled beneath them. “Listen,” he snapped.

  When she stilled, he continued. “My lifestyle might have been similar to Eric’s inasmuch as we engaged in some similar pursuits, but that’s where it begins and ends. Who knows how he survived financially? But I’d take a bet it wasn’t anywhere close to what I’ve been doing. I’m sorry if he gambled away your security, but that’s not who I am.”

  Luke risked giving her a little shake. “And as for Johnn
y putting in his two pennies’ worth…” He might be tempted to have it out with Johnny next time he saw him. “He’s right about one thing. I might not have had a regular job; I haven’t worked in an office or on a building site. But I’ve worked all right. I’ve guided people up and down mountains and through bush and along rivers. I’ve worked on ski fields and adventure parks, and on river rafts and dive boats.”

  He took a deep breath. “And early on, when what I earned wasn’t enough to stake my next trip, I’ve played poker.”

  The muscles in Luke’s stomach contracted as Shannon appeared to shrink under his hands. Her puppet body hung without strings to control it. He eased her onto a chair and knelt beside her.

  “Are you listening to me, Shannon?” he pleaded. “Are you actually listening to what I’m telling you?”

  Her gaze, swinging in his direction and remaining on his face, gave him a little encouragement.

  “Yes, I played poker, Shannon. That’s not a crime, nor is it considered socially unacceptable. In the first few years, when I was starting out, I played a lot. I spent a lot of time in casinos around the world. But I didn’t hurt anyone.”

  He couldn’t help a dig at the chump who caused Shannon’s aversion. “I didn’t have a wife or son to worry about. I didn’t let poker impact on my life.”

  He ignored her little shudder. “I made a reasonably okay amount, enough to keep me going between gigs, but that’s all. I was fine with that. I’d enjoy my winnings, then go back and try my luck again whenever I was broke. If I wasn’t lucky, I’d find some work to keep me going.”

  He shrugged, remembering the lifestyle of the young and unencumbered. Strangely, not for a second was he hankering to return to that life.

  “I met Emma at a friend’s birthday bash when I was in my late twenties. She was a few years older than me and sick of working for other people.”

  Luke frowned at the surprise registering on Shannon’s face. “She and Mark had just got married and she wanted to cultivate some clients and strike out on her own. We got talking. I guess we clicked and she’s been managing my finances ever since. She’s the reason I haven’t worried about money for years. Not any continual gambling addiction.”